During my 22 years working and studying in the field of psychology, one thing has really stood out, both within my clients and my own personal life - How incredibly hard we can be on ourselves and how difficult we find it to be compassionate towards ourselves. Particularly when we need it the most, when we are suffering! I know from personal experience, this is something I have to continuously work on, even though it is exactly what I teach others every day.
I think there are a lot of reasons why we find it so difficult to be self compassionate. Culturally, the majority of us were brought up to 'get on with life'. Our parents and their parents were most likely brought up the same. We were taught to be kind to others but not to ourselves. We are surrounded by others who we also hear speaking to themselves with a deep harshness.
Welcome to the third instalment of my October guest blog series on self-care. The inspiring coach, blog and author Hannah Liley talks about her journey in becoming passionate about the importance of loving and taking care of herself. Last December, Hannah found herself in the position of not wanting to leave her own house, and feeling unable to look in the mirror. Hannah has kindly offered to share with us all her realisation of how important self belief and self-love are, if we are to embark on truly fulfilling lives. Learning to love ourselves is perhaps one of the most important basic self care needs of all, and Hannah expresses this beautifully through her writing.
About Hannah Lilly
Hannah Lilly is a running coach, life coach, motivational speaker, blogger, author and Huffington Post contributor based in Mullingar, Ireland. In both her twin passions, writing and motivational speaking, Hannah focuses on using the power of one’s mindset to create the best life possible. She is currently writing a book about her own six-month, life-changing experiment; the book is titled The Secret Experiment- My 182 Day Journey To Live My Very Best Life. Having coached hundreds of runners to reach their goals inspired Hannah to follow her own dream of empowering people around the world to feel good about themselves, to see their dreams as reachable and to create lives they love. Of particular importance to her in her motivational talks, workshops and writing is instilling self-confidence in children and teens so that they too can embark on a lifetime of satisfying work and emotional lives. Hannah began her own work life at 16, waitressing and working as a make-up artist. She is the mother of Jessica and Leon, a dog named Dora and a cat named Lilly. Visit Hannah’s blog at www.hannah-lilly.com
Welcome to the second installment of my October guest blog series on SELF-CARE. Today I am sharing a beautiful and thought-provoking blog by the lovely LizBu at BuBakes. LizBu talks about her personal journey towards realising the importance of self-care and looking after herself. She brings you through a range of really helpful self-care ideas described under the titles start, look, start. I know it gave me a lot to think about, I hope it does for you too.
LizBu describes herself as a passionate and persistent soul; who is ridiculously happy when up to her eyes in fondant and frosting. She is the proud owner of BuBakes, a beautiful cake business. She loves the fact that making bespoke cakes allows her to give people something to suit their exact needs, adding that extra bit of awesomeness to their occasion! LizBu is also passionate about advocating and writing about mental health, having experienced her own mental health issues. BuBakes is committed to reducing the stigma attached to Mental Health, and personally donates 25p for every order received to MIND. This is kindly matched by three generous supporters, meaning a £1 donation is made per order.
Every Monday for the next four weeks, I will be sharing a beautifully written guest blog from four amazing four inspiring people who have kindly offered to write about their experiences, sharing their thoughts on their individual journey of self-care.. I will begin the week with the lovely Elisabeth Corey. Elizabeth talks about the importance of going back to basics when it comes to self care, and reflects upon how important remembering to breathe and eat has been for her throughout her journey of recovery. It is a beautiful and inspiring read that I know you will enjoy.
Elisabeth is a survivor of family-controlled child sex trafficking and sex abuse. Her education in social work and her personal experiences as a survivor inform her intimate dialogue about the biological, psychological, social and spiritual aspects of trauma recovery, which she discusses on her blog at BeatingTrauma.com. She writes about breaking the cycle of abuse through conscious parenting, navigating intimate relationships as a survivor, balancing the memory recovery process with daily life, coping with self-doubt, and overcoming the physical symptoms of a traumatic childhood. She guides other survivors as they navigate life and parenting with private sessions, workshops and a forum. She also works with media and organizations through her workshops, writing, and speaking. Follow her on Twitter and Facebook.
Just a little friendly reminder to look out for four amazing guest blogs from four inspiring people who have kindly offered to write about their experiences, sharing their thoughts on their individual journey of self-care.
Self-care is most definitely not one size fits all . What makes it even more exciting is that there are so many different techniques, ideas, thoughts and ways to take care of oneself either generally in life, or when going through a difficult experience. My four a guest bloggers beautifully illustrate the very personal nature of self-care and it's importance in every one of our lives. They will undoubtedly give you lots of inspiration when considering what YOU need to take care of yourself.
I put some time aside yesterday to reflect upon my self – care needs, professionally and personally. As I was writing down my thoughts I became aware that although a lot of what I was thinking was, of course, specific to me, it would most likely also resonate with many others. I therefore put together a slightly edited version and shared for all you lovely people. I hope you find it helpful! It is currently up on my fridge as a reminder of what I need to do at the moment to take care of myself. Perhaps you would find it useful up on your fridge aswell.
I continue to resolve to improve my lifestyle as much as I can, and do things that will ultimately improve my quality of life and that of my loved ones; However, rather than focusing on these and these alone, always looking into the future, I decided this year to endeavour to live in the moment as much as possible, regardless of how well are unwell my body feels. This practice of learning to live fully in the moment is gaining more and more momentum in the Western world, and is referred to as Mindfulness.
One common lifestyle changes people embark upon are changes in the food they eat. Food can be a double-edged sword, we need it to survive. However, with too much a whole range of health problems can arise. Like most people, I for one love food, it gives me a great deal of pleasure, sometimes well needed comfort, as well as the social aspect of eating. Every single one of us has a relationship with food!
So how does this to our relationship with food, and how can we use self compassion to help us develop a more meaningful and healthy relationship with what and how we eat?