Why not grab a cuppa and have a read.
MENTAL HEALTH BLOG
Do you ever ask yourself 'what do I need'? Not, what do I want, or what do I think I need, but really take the time to tune into yourself, helping you get past those initial 'shoulds' and 'coulds', influenced by wider society and your unique earlier life experiences.
I have to admit, I do find it difficult to succinctly describe different therapies to my clients. There is so much too them and so many different ways to use them to help. When trying to understand something myself I first of all find it useful to think about the language used. It would make sense that schema therapy has something to do with schemas, right?
So what is a schema?
We all have different ways of looking at the world. Different ‘oughts’, ‘shoulds’, rules and expectations. Unique core beliefs about ourselves, others and the world. Various emotional reactions and physiological responses to the things that happen around us and within us. It is all of this that comprise our schemas.
So, it’s a few weeks into 2024 already.
I don’t know about everyone else, but for me it’s been a bit of a slog. I will admit to getting caught up in the whole ‘New Year, New Me’ stuff this year. With my metabolism lowering as I get older, I have some weight I would like to shift. I also planned to get more organised and to start writing more again.
During my 22 years working and studying in the field of psychology, one thing has really stood out, both within my clients and my own personal life - How incredibly hard we can be on ourselves and how difficult we find it to be compassionate towards ourselves. Particularly when we need it the most, when we are suffering! I know from personal experience, this is something I have to continuously work on, even though it is exactly what I teach others every day.
I think there are a lot of reasons why we find it so difficult to be self compassionate. Culturally, the majority of us were brought up to 'get on with life'. Our parents and their parents were most likely brought up the same. We were taught to be kind to others but not to ourselves. We are surrounded by others who we also hear speaking to themselves with a deep harshness.
Welcome to the third instalment of my October guest blog series on self-care. The inspiring coach, blog and author Hannah Liley talks about her journey in becoming passionate about the importance of loving and taking care of herself. Last December, Hannah found herself in the position of not wanting to leave her own house, and feeling unable to look in the mirror. Hannah has kindly offered to share with us all her realisation of how important self belief and self-love are, if we are to embark on truly fulfilling lives. Learning to love ourselves is perhaps one of the most important basic self care needs of all, and Hannah expresses this beautifully through her writing.
About Hannah Lilly
Hannah Lilly is a running coach, life coach, motivational speaker, blogger, author and Huffington Post contributor based in Mullingar, Ireland. In both her twin passions, writing and motivational speaking, Hannah focuses on using the power of one’s mindset to create the best life possible. She is currently writing a book about her own six-month, life-changing experiment; the book is titled The Secret Experiment- My 182 Day Journey To Live My Very Best Life.
Welcome to the second installment of my October guest blog series on SELF-CARE. Today I am sharing a beautiful and thought-provoking blog by the lovely LizBu at BuBakes. LizBu talks about her personal journey towards realising the importance of self-care and looking after herself. She brings you through a range of really helpful self-care ideas described under the titles start, look, start. I know it gave me a lot to think about, I hope it does for you too.
About LizBu
LizBu describes herself as a passionate and persistent soul; who is ridiculously happy when up to her eyes in fondant and frosting. She is the proud owner of BuBakes, a beautiful cake business. She loves the fact that making bespoke cakes allows her to give people something to suit their exact needs, adding that extra bit of awesomeness to their occasion! LizBu is also passionate about advocating and writing about mental health, having experienced her own mental health issues.
Welcome!
Every Monday for the next four weeks, I will be sharing a beautifully written guest blog from four amazing four inspiring people who have kindly offered to write about their experiences, sharing their thoughts on their individual journey of self-care.. I will begin the week with the lovely Elisabeth Corey. Elizabeth talks about the importance of going back to basics when it comes to self care, and reflects upon how important remembering to breathe and eat has been for her throughout her journey of recovery. It is a beautiful and inspiring read that I know you will enjoy.
Elisabeth is a survivor of family-controlled child sex trafficking and sex abuse. Her education in social work and her personal experiences as a survivor inform her intimate dialogue about the biological, psychological, social and spiritual aspects of trauma recovery, which she discusses on her blog at BeatingTrauma.com.
Just a little friendly reminder to look out for four amazing guest blogs from four inspiring people who have kindly offered to write about their experiences, sharing their thoughts on their individual journey of self-care.
Self-care is most definitely not one size fits all . What makes it even more exciting is that there are so many different techniques, ideas, thoughts and ways to take care of oneself either generally in life, or when going through a difficult experience. My four a guest bloggers beautifully illustrate the very personal nature of self-care and it's importance in every one of our lives. They will undoubtedly give you lots of inspiration when considering what YOU need to take care of yourself.
I put some time aside yesterday to reflect upon my self – care needs, professionally and personally. As I was writing down my thoughts I became aware that although a lot of what I was thinking was, of course, specific to me, it would most likely also resonate with many others. I therefore put together a slightly edited version and shared for all you lovely people. I hope you find it helpful! It is currently up on my fridge as a reminder of what I need to do at the moment to take care of myself. Perhaps you would find it useful up on your fridge aswell.
Take Brian as an example:
(Please note Brian is not a real client, but a representation of a person’s possible experiences).
Brian grew up with his mum, dad and little sister. When he was seven his mum was badly injured in a car accident. His father was a high achieving businessman who worked long hours. Brian was put in the role of caregiver at this young age, for both mum and sister, with some help from an aunt from time to time. Everyone in the family was struggling with this new reality. As he got older, mum started to improve but was still very sad a lot of the time. Dad had really high expectations of Brian and his sister, pushing them with their education, always wanting nothing but their best and more. Brian did not receive a great deal of emotional validation when he was young, as well as not having much space to figure out his own identity.