So, it’s a few weeks into 2024 already.
I don’t know about everyone else, but for me it’s been a bit of a slog. I will admit to getting caught up in the whole ‘New Year, New Me’ stuff this year. With my metabolism lowering as I get older, I have some weight I would like to shift. I also planned to get more organised and to start writing more again.
Low and behold, it is rarely that simple is it. Yes, I have made some changes (including writing this blog – go me!!). However, this has been accompanied by an internalised pressure which my avoidance and impulsive parts have not liked (at all), leading to me feeling quite vulnerable at times.
So, in case anyone else has had a similar start to the year, I thought I would share an exercise to help bring our healthy adult, the part of us that can help look after our vulnerabilities and allow space for our internal wisdom to emerge.
Try it out and see what you think. It might feel a bit weird and take a few tries to really feel the beautiful resonance of solace and softening around the edges it can bring. And if it doesn’t that’s ok too. I imagine there will be part of you that will be grateful that you tried and feel comfort in knowing it is something you can go back to another time.
This particular exercise was written by Dr. Kristen Neff and is called:
A self-compassionate break
Think of a situation in your life that is difficult, that is causing you stress. Call the situation to mind and see if you can actually feel the stress and emotional discomfort in your body.
Now, say to yourself:
1. This is a moment of suffering
That’s mindfulness. Other options include:
· This hurts.
· Ouch.
· This is stress.
2. Suffering is a part of life
That’s common humanity. Other options include:
· Other people feel this way.
· I’m not alone.
· We all struggle in our lives.
Now, put your hands over your heart, feel the warmth of your hands and the gentle touch of your hands on your chest. Or adopt the soothing touch you discovered felt right for you.
Say to yourself:
3. May I be kind to myself
You can also ask yourself, “What do I need to hear right now to express kindness to myself?” Is there a phrase that speaks to you in your particular situation, such as:
· May I give myself the compassion that I need
· May I learn to accept myself as I am
· May I forgive myself
· May I be strong.
· May I be patient
This practice can be used any time of day or night, and will help you remember to evoke the three aspects of self-compassion when you need it most.
I really like this one and often introduce it to clients, whilst also using it myself when I feel I need it. Why not let me know what you thought in the comment section below.